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White Rabbit
Guava Seed Rating: 3 Highlights * After Jack makes his "live together, die alone" speech, Kate brings him water (or vodka - the liquid is merely clear). She asks him where he was, to which he replies: "Just had to take care of a few things." He reveals that his father passed away in Sydney and the two of them quietly sit in front of the fire together. On-Island Recap In one of our fearless leader's many flashback episodes, we start by seeing our darling doctor as a boy, watching his best friend get the crapped kicked out of him. Jack, showing traits that we'll all come to know, love, and hate at the same time, gets up to help his friend, but he gets punched out, too. On the island, Jack is daydreaming (probably about Kate) when Charlie runs up, exclaiming that there's someone in the water. In a move that gets all Jaters panties in a wet knot, Jack strips off his shirt and swims out into the water, all muscles and sinew and goodness cause homeboy can't stand to see anyone in trouble. Kate looks on, concerned, as Jack comes up with Boone, who tries to make it sound like he was saving someone else to have his fantasies of being next to Jack naked and wet finally fulfilled. But there's one problem - Boone WAS actually out there trying to save the stupid woman who went out for a joy swim who's now stuck in a current far out in the water. Jack makes it back to the beach with the crazy airplane sounds of Giacchino thrumming in the background, drops off Soggy!Boone and high tails it back out to sea to try and save the stupid woman. Alas, Jack couldn't save her, and Boone's beating himself up over the fact that he wasn't man enough to get the woman OR admit that being next to a naked Jack was the highlight of his year (which, let's face it, would be the highlight of ALL of our years). Kate (looking the most adorable she's looked so far, if I do say so myself) tells him that the stupid woman's name was Joanna and then something about an ear infection, yadda yadda yadda. Jack brings up the fact that he never once talked to her in the six days they were on the island and proceeds to berate himself over and over again for being too into Kate to notice anyone else. Kate listens to him with her "My poor baby" Jack!Face on and is startled when his eyes glaze over whilst looking out into the ocean. Cause who is it?! Why, it's Suit Man, of course! Jack's freaking the frak out cause the dude is chillaxin in the water but then suddenly disappears and the desperate tone in his voice makes our hearts break. He asks Kate if she saw the guy out in the water and Kate asks when the last time Jack slept was. He pleads with her, hoping that she did, in fact, see the guy and that he isn't going crazy, but to no avail. Kate didn't see SuitMan and Jack's back to acting like he's OK. The episode continues with Walt showing Michael Sun's tree root toothbrush schtick; Michael's not all that impressed. Jin tells Sun that she looks like crap (yet again) and Sun asks him when they're going to start contributing to the rest of the camp. Jin blows her off because obviously he knows EVERYTHING. Shannon - who's obviously ready to go to the island club up the beach - walks up to Sawyer, who's trying to appear well-rounded by reading a book. Shannon asks for some stuff that'll keep the crabs, er, sand fleas away and Sawyer's got the goods. When she asks him what he wants for it he sneers suggestively at her and all of us collectively throw up at how disgusting he is. Truth is, Shannon would rather battle sand fleas than get within five feet of his most-likely disease ridden ass. Claire comes up to Kate and tries to make small talk about hair brushes and star signs and Kate basically ignores her cause it's really easy to do. Hurley comes up to Jack and tells him that they've got a problem - all the water is goooone!! Dun, dun, dun, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun (cue eery Giacchino here). No seriously. It's a big deal. But Jack's got more important things to do and leaves the decision making to the Dynamic Duo of Hurley and Charlie, who are totally jonesing to be Jack's second in command. Later, Boone cries like the little ungrateful bitch he is about being saved by Jack and asks him who appointed him their savior. That's a good question, Boone, cause Jack's been wondering the same damn thing. As Boone whines, Jack sees Suit!Man in the distance and runs after him. He walks into the jungle and catches up to him, scared to death by the fact that Suit!Man is none other than... DADDY SHEPHARD (cue mass hysteria). Claire collapses back on the island and the Giacchino gets crazier and more urgent and when Kate asks for water, Charlie reveals that it's all gone. Locke wants to know where Jack is and volunteers to go find water, leaving Kate and Sayid in charge of the camp (which no doubt makes Sayid happy). Locke might have a problem finding Jack, though, since he's wandering around aimlessly in the jungle screaming, "Where are you?" The apparition keeps appearing out of nowhere and Jack becomes increasingly more desperate to catch him. Unfortunately they needed some more conflict for our poor doctor so he trips and falls over a cliff face. Luckily he catches a branch but he's slipping and we're all peeing ourselves because we don't want him to die. Locke does Jack a solid by miraculously showing up to offer a helping hand, saving him. Jack thinks it's downright hysterical. Claire's all ditzy from being pregnant and hot and the Korean's get interrogated by Sayid for having water. He asks who gave it to them and sure enough it's the smarmy Southern Con-Man who's just sitting around with a thumb up his ass. Kate wants to go all fugitive on his ass and beat him up, but Sayid tells her to wait, whispering in her ear that rats will always lead you to their holes if you wait long enough. I love double entendre. It makes me happy. So Kate follows the dirty rat into the jungle and she tackles him. Sawyer and Skaters get hard ons cause he thinks Kate likes it rough when Sayid freaks cause he knows how to respect women and pulls Sawyer off of her. Back with our good doctor, Locke is being all Yoda-like and telling Jack that the people on the beach are looking for a leader. Jack tells Locke that he's out in the jungle looking for something that really doesn't exist. Locke says Jack is chasing a (ALERT! Alice in Wonderland Reference! ALERT!) White Rabbit in Wonderland and Jack agrees cause his white rabbit can't possibly be real. Locke then proceeds to talk about how the island is special and how cool things happen and how he looked into the eye of the island and blah, blah, blah. Old man's insane. We get it. While watching a fire, Jack reminisces about his time in Sydney when he went and found his father in the morgue. So... yeah. Jack CAN'T be seeing Christian cause the dude is DEAD. Jack makes all of us cry when he cries but then he hears the sound of ice in a glass and chases the apparition through the jungle, which leads him to a fresh water spring. Not only does the spring have caves that would be the perfect site for future Jex, but it also happens to house Christian Shephard's coffin. Jack then opens the damn thing to find it... zomg. It's empty. Then he does what any sane person would do and destroys the freaking thing to smithereens. Back on the beach, it's revealed that the boy wonder Boone stole the water. Everyone's about to crucify him when yay! Jack shows up! Kate brings Jack some of the blessed water and sits down with him by the fire. She asks him where he was and he replies, "Just had to take care of a few things." Kate smiles cause she doesn't think she'll get a straight answer but then he tells her, "My father died. In Sydney," and Kate apologizes. They sit there together by the fire and we all fall a little more in love with him cause he's a tortured soul. Flashback Recap Flashback - In perhaps one of the most revealing FB's in Jack's story, the young (and newly black-eyed) Jack walks into his boozy father's study as he's sitting like The Claw from Inspector Gadget behind his big chair. Christian asks Jack what happened and when Jack tells him, Christian starts waxing poetically about how he has what it takes to be a heartless spinal surgeon who doesn't have a problem watching children die on the operating table. Remind me to never go to him if I need surgery, mmkay? This is the sound advice that daddy Shephard gives Jack, which we'll later learn has affected Jack and his views on everything - from his own self worth to love - entirely: Father of the year award goes to... not him. What a tool. Flasback - In another FB, Jack's mother begs him to go find his father, who's gone missing to Sydney, Australia. She's obviously taken a page out of the Christian Shephard Guide to Parenting and whines that Jack doesn't understand pressure and doesn't have what it takes. At least Daddy and Mommy are on the same page, right? That's key in parenting. Anyway, after laying on the guilt trip real thick Jack agrees to go find in asshat of a father. White Rabbit